DEC. 10th
The " F " word :
f
unk
FOLEY
f allacies
f elicity
f orte
f ahrenheit
f reedom
FiRE
f ervor
f riend
f low
f requency
DEC. 12th
…..when I was in the 2nd grade , I was chosen ( picked-a-ninny ) for the role of the gingerbread man in my elementary school’s "production" ( reduction ) of that play by the same name……I was so delighted to have been chosen for the "lead" ( the nigga please ) role …..i believe it may have been my first time being selected for the spotlight ( inkspotlight )…..for a canned ham there was nothing sweeter, victory was mine!…I would rule the "monkey bars" for the rest of the school year…I was gonna be da "Shirley Temple" of my generation ( degenerate nation ) I ran home: "Mommy! Daddy! I got the lead role in the gingerbread man ( bojangles life story ) !" "OH SUGAR! We’re so proud of you!" "What role are u playing sweetie?"…"I’m THE gingerbread man!"……"that’s great honey! We’ll be front and center at the jump off ( oh god, do we have to go ? ) ….weeks go by…….in order to carry out my character ( caricature ) fully I ( my mom ) has to carry me to "Burlington Coat Factory" to purchase a beautiful dark brown leotard and and dark brown stockings and dark brown/black ballet shoes so that I can "look" like the gingerbread man ?……….i was so ecstatic ( stupid ) u couldn’t tell me shit! I was THE shit! How u gon’ tell me, ME?……the big day finally comes ………after weeks of emotionally wrenching practices ( as emotionally wrenching as u can get at the age of eight ) it was time for the BIG production ( lynching )……….as the curtain lifted the butterflies started f**king with my fortitude, I looked to my left and to my right at my fellow company members ( lynch mob ) searching their faces for the same amount of nervousness…..( were their hands sweating too? Were they afraid of performing in front of MILLIONS of suburbanites? )…..as I looked to them for solace and a comfort zone….I kept looking at them……I wouldn’t stop "looking", I blinked & blinked & blinked & blinked & blinked & blinked some mo…..all, not some, not a few, not the majority……but ALL of them were white…., ( my mulatto friend jackie didn’t’ count, she was a mini "Lisa Bonet" )…..she just wasn’t "brown" enough to rock the chocolate colored leotard and stockings….I was the perfect blend ( perfectly bamboozled ) …..I was the color of gingerbread, basically I was chosen to be him, the "Gingerbread" MAN ? ( I’m a f#*king girl , u got damn "Racist music teacher"! ) cuz I wuz the color of a gingerbread cookie….how "F#*ked Up" for an 8 yr old to figure out……….how dare u NOT choose me for my singing ability and theatrical talents?….how dare u RELEGATE me to the role of the gingerbread man ( I’m a girl ), simply cause u’re obtuse enough to REALIZE that I/me/moi is the ONLY student that MATCHES the suit,……….I wuz the bomb "anyway" , my Mama clapped "anyway", my daddy clapped "anyway" , the audience? clapped "anyway"…….
I was the best damn "Running Jiggaboo gingerbread girl" in the history of minstrel theatre!!!
the moral of the story ?
when u’re forced into a situation .... .
u SHOULDN’T be in
or wouldn’t be in
if it weren’t for the shortsightedness of others .....
Tell ‘em eat YOUR "Gingerbread" !
DEC. 18th
Been a couple of days, nights & Sins ,
since my last entry. And , I don’t have one "frigging" thing to say.
Why?
I haven’t had more than 10 hours of sleep, in the last five days….
this is what happens when U're PURSUING a dream .
I’m considering SUING my dream for "Punitive Damages" & undue stress
I can’t think…
So for now, I’m just gonna "Pre-Ramble" ....
Wait ! Here’s something...
The "Holiday" Season..?
Why does the world feel the need to show their adoration....
for the people they " supposedly " love ..?
but can only express this love.... via the exchanging of gifts?
What I’m basically saying is :
if my Mother doesn’t know I love her by now....?
there aren’t enough "pashmina shawls" in the universe
to help her "figure it out"……..
But wait , that’s not EVEN the issue….
the funniest part in all this is 50% of the people I know,
are CHRISTmas shopping , And they don’t believe in "Jesus"…
better yet , they're either "Agnostic or Atheist" !!
Go F**Kin' Figure ?
Alright , enough ......
DEC. 20th
I’m not a "Male basher"
No " X/Y" chromosome trasher
I’m a "Semi-Femininist" ?
And I hate to "Stereo Type" ,
But I swear on a stack of "Stevie Wonder" vinyl .....
Ya’ll ( 
) are the most un-necessary NEED !
Like "DRUGS" with + skin & blood +
We get down ....
they get us high.
We get let down ....
And there we are again ,
millions of Halle Berry’s at the "Taj Mahal" of love ,
taking another hit off of Gator’s duplicitous pipe ?
*sigh*
I Hate ya’ll… 
SOMETIMES.
DEC. 21st
I wanna be a "Video Hoe". I have decided to take the Object-ive approach to the whole
"Fem-non-men-on" of being scantily clad & throwing hind parts into the face of "ANYONE" , with a record deal. There h-ASS to be some POWER in it ? It can’t just be the "Music" or the money ? They’re must be an "Alternate Universe" where these Amazon Women & their moons RULE ! These video "Women" are becoming more & more visible as opposed to becoming invisible…. which is what I thought was gonna happen. They won’t stop. I think I’m gonna start calling them ~ P. Titty’s. Maybe I’m/we are being way too hard on these "Women".. I mean "video hoes" gotta eat too.
wHoes to say .......that there has to be "more to life" than being a piece of meat ?
wHoes to say........ that men would "respect us" anymore if we were fully dressed ?
( And displaying some "intelligence" or talent beyond our gluteals. ) Women in the 1800’s & "B4" were dressed to the 9’s & 10’s , Plus treated in a subhuman manner & they weren’t even paid for it. On the contrary , "VideHoes" ain’t hardly dressed , videhoes get a day rate of about $100….and a craft services table full of twinkies. "Butt", the pinnacle of joy for them is having their Mothers & Grandmothers able to view the benefits reaped by their descendents....?
of all the hard work they’ve done .......
over the course of the "Last Century" ........
in order to make 
"Un-equal"
to 
I’m sure it’s worth having the rap(e) stars tongues , against their "Hoe" cheeks.
As I type this .... I have "My tongue " against "My own" .
